Monday, December 15

New post, New found happiness!!!

Yeah, today, I'm a bit overwhelmed with joy due to the fact that I have a brand new, super gorgous, high speed lappie!!! Yeap, for the past few weeks, I've been bugging my bro for his lappie to surf, but now, I feel free as a bird~
Bought during the PC Fair in KLCC last 14th Dec, this F8VR24DPM from Asus is a masterpiece. With its ebony black, dark, polished and sleek look, it melted my heart away.. Not going to list down the specs though, coz its so long to be described. For those who are interested, you may click here to view the model.
I am super happy now that I have something to rely on, to enjoy on and best of all, to look forward to. I am rejoicing.

Thursday, December 4

My Day

Yesterday was my birthday. Yeap, December 3rd, 2008.

Gee.... I AM OLD!

NO! Age is just a number, so people say.

Crap, this aint going nowhere.

So yeah, I lets recap what happened yesterday. For those who doesn't give a damn on what happened, you may close this window/tab or hop to another blog, thank you.

Right when the clock strike 0000 hr, I was on the phone with my sis and amma, singing 'the song', while I was practically gigling over the receiver. Nonetheless, I had to shut up so that I wouldn't wake the surrounding neighbours. Ha ha.

Sis and amma wasn't the first one though, Farah, Mahazan, Abang, Lee, and Haw were way ahead of them. So yeah, After them, Mom and bro came and wished me, plus handing a black paper bag labelled "Pedal works". As i opened the box, I was practically stunned at the pair of dark purple snake skin and suede 2 inch heels with rose end string ankle wrap. Imagine THAT my friends. Nah, lazy wanna post up pictures. I'm pretty sure PETA will go bonkers with me. Hurm..... But I love it anyway! Thanx Mom!

After the shock, Azri and Diyana wished me. Then Nabie called me, from Indonesia, and we talked for the brief 8 minutes flat. Owh, how i missed her. Huhuhu.... Thanx for calling me, baby.

At 0725 hr, I was alarmed by a sound coming towards me, as I knew that both my mom and bro went to the school that morning. And it wasn't Heho. As I turned, it was my SIS, Jeeva, who actually came early in the morning to wish me again. (How the hell did she snuck into my house??? Long story, that one). So yeah, we both decided to sleep again since the two of us were quite drowsy. So back to the snoozyland!

That noon, many called and texted, (i AM SO VERY SORRY i couldn't list you all coz i forgot who wished). We, my famly plus Diyana and Aunty Ana went to see "Bolt 3D" at Sunway Pyramid's TGV. Then, we head home to get ready for the family dinner.

At 2000 hr, my family and I were already waiting for Jee to arrive at Aunty Ana's house for the dinner. We went to the lake garden for the treat and had a great time there. Next, we went to Sect 9's Secret Recipe for the dessert. To me, eventhough this year wasn't as celebrative as last year, but it was enough.

I was happy, and I am happy. Owh btw, I sold my lappie already, and i'm buying a new one soon!!! Cant wait! Gazillion thanks for those who wished and celebrated!!!!!!!! Thanks so much!!! Love you guys always!

Monday, December 1


Have you ever heard on Incubus? Nah, not the music band with the infamous 'Love Hurts' song. The real incubus. The real phenomenon of incubus state.

To some, incubus may scare the bones out of you, thinking that something evil is lying on top of you while you were sleeping. Yes, this is the myth of it all. The centuries old, horrifying and scary myth. Demons have been thought to lie on the sleeper, especially women, and proceed sexual act. The sign; motionless limbs, heavy breathing and trauma (at that particular moment).

Well, thank God, now there were studies to prove this folk story to dissolve.

What is incubus?

This awkward yet weird state is called the sleep paralysis, by experts. Psychologists define this bizzare phenomenon as the "sleep paralysis with hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations" (no bloody idea what is that, so moving on.). Do read the following simptoms.

"Sleep paralysis is which someone, most often lying in a supine position, about to drop of to sleep, or just upon waking from sleep realizes that s/he is unable to move, or speak, or cry out. This may last a few seconds or several moments, occasionally longer. People frequently report feeling a ‘presence’ that is often described as malevolent, threatening, or evil. An intense sense of dread and terror is very common"

So basically, this paralysis happens due to the hormones released during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) state. Another source also states that during this period, the brain is confused of the awakeness state, yet the body is actually sleeping to be aware of the awakeness.

There you go, sound simple, yet it is downright complicated for us to understand. Nonetheless, we shouldn't go biserk after this if this incubus thingie happen to us. Just remember to stay calm, until your body is fully awake and you may continue the sleeping process again.

Sweet Dreams! :-)

For more information, click here!

Wednesday, November 19

Saturday, November 8

Geeks, need ur help. Read this.

I'm open for suggestions from you guys out there to aid me in buying a new lappie.

Price: NOT more than RM3500.
Brand: Not specific, though I'm bored with Acer.
Processor: Now, what is the latest processor?? Intel Centrino 2?? Or Duo? Or what???
RAM: The best within d price range.
Misc: Multiple accessories- built in webcam, mic, friendly user buttons etc.

The rest depends on the options given. Let me know the specifications and why YOU like it.



my sis, my life.

Tonight, im not gonna write any sad poems, love stories etc..
Just for tonight, im gonna write a post based on a person, whom have saved me from all the thorns and turmoils of the world, if I were to be what I was before.
And only tonight, this particular post is made to honour HER on the 22nd anniversary of her joyful birth.

So this goes for you, Jeevaneswary Nadeson.
*1* I thank God for sending you to me, helping me thru thick and thin, joy and depression, love and hatred. You're an ANGEL.
*2* I thank you for believing that I AM a better person than I thought I was. You're a BELIEVER.
*3* I thank you for correcting me when im wrong, and always being transparent. You're a NEGOTIATOR.
*4* I thank you for bringing me back to sanity with your addictive laughter. You're a JOKER.
*5* I thank you for all the thoughful gifts and knick-knacks you brought when you come to visit. You're a GIVER.
Sorry dear, Im left with no words already. I'll add more later k? Love you. Always.
Happy Birthday Sis!!

Saturday, October 4

It's worthless

I couldn't believe myself,
When the heart told me,
That she had sparkles bloom,
Just when he was close to me.

I ached for an answer,
Honest, deep and bold,
I have waited for years,
Yet I never told a soul.

He tingled my skin,
Flushed my cheeks,
Warmed my blues,
And aptly cooled my wrath.

I let the boat sailed,
Far across the ocean,
For the horizon is eternity,
And I fleet in compassion.

But he came with indignation,
Even though those words I've blurred,
He treasures me with pride and glory,
Yet would never make me Queen.

I lust for his shadows,
I devoured his entity,
I chased his soles,
And it was pain and vain.

I could not understand his mind,
Neither his heart aloft,
Though I've searched and searched,
None came back to unwind.

She came in an instant,
Though he promised it's irrational,
Yet now it is different,
For she is the Queen.

I had clarified my mind,
I had cleared my bones,
I had washed my bloods,
But couldn't salvage my soul.

He wins in the end,
And I vanished in air,
What could more be told,
For I'm just an ordinary mold.

It's worthless.

**This so-called-poem is far more spontaneous than those I've written before. Bear with me okie?? Stay tuned!

Apology post

Dear viewers,
I'm very superbly sorry for the outstanding delay in updating my blog. I've been terribly busy and the last thing I could afford to do is turn on my lappie and surf. Right now, everything seems quite stable and slow, therefore I bet I could sneak in a post or two in the meantime. Hang on!! I'll be back soon!! Thanks a million for still viewing my sober blog! :p

Wednesday, July 30

As the sun fades.. Part 1

Today is Jake and Eve's big day. Marked gloriously on the Calender of their life, is the wedding of the year, as what Grandma Louisa said. Both parties had spent gazillions of their hard-earned money on this special occasion. They splurged on the wedding planner's simple yet divine matrimony ideas; such as the candles, fresh white roses and lilies, up do a garden venue, fabulous 3 course meal with 6 types of dessert to indulge in, great wine, gifts and many more. As far as what has been described by the wedding planner, Mrs James, everything has come out perfectly. It is the anticipated day for both husband and wife-to-be.

The ray of dawn had awaken Eve in her room facing the mountains in the horizon. Just below her room balcony, stretch a wide area of her planned wedding reception area. She could see the white round tables with beautiful chairs surrounding them, the makeshift dancefloor already in place, the temporary gazebo style, dome-like tent with no cover, for it will make a perfect night-sky scenery during the dinner reception. A few people were running around to complete the tasks given by the wedding planner. Overwhelmed by the whole picture, she came into tears.

Jake was awake by the sound of his mobile phone. One text message came in, and its from his love, Eve. He quickly rub his eyes wide and pressed on the 'Read' button.

"Darling dearest! Wakie wakie! I'm looking at the morning sun now, for the last time as Ms McCain. Tomorrow morning I'll be looking at the morning sun again as Mrs Sutherford. How odd! Heee.. Owh how I wish I could be there with you and enjoy it now.. Can't wait for the evening, Mr Jake Sutherford! :)".

And in an instant, Jake replied with his best words he could come up,

"I wish I could bring you to the future and make you my loveliest bride right now. Be patient, dearest. The time will come for both of us.. :) Have a good morning!".

With that, he got up, got dressed and went down for breakfast.

By noon, most of their families were chatting and admiring the old chateau. It stands 5 stories tall, with English vineyard spreads behind it. The clear, blue sky was brilliant as if it was blessing the ceremony. The green mountains were standing with pride overlooking the vineyard. The view was breathtaking. The owner, Mr Franklin, is a dear friend of Mr Sutherford, who is also the godfather of Jake. He spares this chateau especially for his godson's wedding as he do not have a child of his own. His wife died giving birth to his own son, but shortly after, the unnamed son passed away too due to some complications. he never married since that, somewhat 20 years ago, which to him was and still is the markpoint of his life.

Mrs James and Mrs McCain went in the dressing room next to the bride's room where Eve and her little sister, Lyla, were waiting. They brought in the most precious garment of the evening, the wedding gown. Covered in a white polyester bag, Lyla could imagine the exquisite dress custom made for the event. Knowing her sister, she expected it to be simple, yet lovely. She had yet to see the dress, because she just had just traveled back from New Zealand a few days back. She took a couple weeks off her class for the big day. The makeup artist and the hairdresser came in a few moments later. With their elaborate tools, they started to work on the bride-to-be.

-to be continued-

Wednesday, July 16

Finally...GRADUATION!!! ^^

My days in Tganu is finally over. On the 12th day of July, I traveled back to K.Terengganu from Shah Alam bus station with a double decker bus. My mom was thrilled to see the bus, however, too much of its excitement, the bus broke down directly in front of the Carlsberg factory in Batu Tiga. Yeap, it moved only that much... It seemed that the bus was out of petrol, so I waited for an agonizing hour for the driver to refill its tank. It was hot, and everyone was restless. I finally arrived in KT in the mere hours of 9pm. So the journey alone took almost 12 hours of my day. Luckily, Kak Kathy fetched me from the MPKT and took me to her new home. We made a short stop at the Giants to buy dinner plate meal from KFC and 2 tubs of ice cream. The dinner was fantastic! Paprika coated roast beef with onion spring-seasoned mashed potatoes. And the dessert was banana chocolate brownies with chocolate sauce, which I found it so much better than Secret Recipe's Choc Ban. Meow! Nyummie~

The next day, I went to my campus as early as 8am, as I followed Kak Kathy there. The robe collection started by 10am, so I wandered around the campus, in search for my lecturers and lab assistants. By 930am, I was at the Convo Fest, looking around for **, and ** wasn't there. Abg Jef and Poh Lynn text me to come to the hall asap for the robe collection. I waited for Alyn to come, and as things went smoothly, I managed to get a size M robe. Thank God! So then, I had lunch with Alyn's family and headed back to the campus for the rehearsal.

Alyn & Azri with all happiness~

Natra, Anis & Farah trying not to feel bored~

Lea, Akak & Mica smiling at Ena's jokes~

Farah & Ena, posing for Mica's cam~

After the rehearsal, Azri and Alyn took me to Kak Kathy's house to fetch my stuff and drive me to Permai Inn, where my mom and bro just checked in. That night, I felt tingles on my skin and I couldn't close my eyes, even though I tried to for a few hours. The picture of me falling down on my face, kissing the stage was so prominent, that I sighed quite out loud, and a lot. Even my mom asked me what's wrong when I unintentionally woke her up due to the sighing.

The day came by, and I woke up at 930 am, and started to iron my robe and apparel. Went in the shower and dressed up. Mom applied some make up on my face, despite me telling her I looked ridiculous. By 12pm, we drove to my campus in the rented car. Had a quick bite in one of the stalls at the Convo Fest, and walked to the hall (Dewan Sultan Mizan: DSM). All of us grouped up at the side of the hall, while the families went in. There, the final preparations were done; put on the robe, checking the mortar board, helping others, etc. And it turned out that my mortar board's tassle was actually ruined!!! So I somehow tried to make it look best and prayed that it wont do much damage to my picture. Huhuhuhu.. As we marched in the hall looking so 'elegant' in the robe, I found myself to be in such sensation where my stomach flipped and at the same time was trying my best not to fall down because of the heels. Hehehe...

My bro took this as shown on the live screen when we marched in. (I'm d one in blue tudung)~

As the last group to receive the scroll, we were finally called to que up near the stage. The moment was finally here. My heart was racing, as I walked cautiously to the stairs and I heard my name called. The moment was so soon, I can't even remember it very well. All I know I walked up, took my scroll, and walked down. As I sat back at my seat, I noticed my eyes were moist and there was this heaviness in my breathing. I took a deep breath, and exhale as poised as I could. Then I knew, that my family was there, mom and bro, but not my dad. And because of this, I could not help but feel sober. I tried to cover up my expression, I hope it turned out right. I knew that he was watching me from the gates of heaven..

Everything was over. I rushed out from the hall, straight to my family. They hugged and congratulated me. Took some photos for the last time with my dear, dear friends so that this second will last forever.

My dear family & I

Anis, Al, me & Farah

Us & Dr Siti Aishah in d middle

Us in a candid photo, with Azri being d only guy

Another candid pic: there were so many photographers around!

To my lovely coursemates, I hope even after this graduation thingie we will still be keeping in touch with each other. I wish all of you the best of life, and thousand luck in your career and further educations. May you be blessed in the hands of God and will ever lead a great life.

Tomar el cuidado, te faltar√° todo querido!
Take care, will miss you all dearly!

Sunday, July 6

Weekend baking~

Okie dokie.

This weekend, I decided to try something new.

Rumours has it that many Hollywood celebrities, such as that Gossip Girl star, Miss Blake, love to indulge themselves in great desserts to chill down their mood gauge. And one of the famous desserts would be the Red Velvet cake/cupcakes. So, due to that, I went hunting for the recipe on the web, nailing for an easy step-by-step baking tips.

Yesterday, I went scrying for the ingredients: Softening, buttermilk, and flour; since I have most of the other ingredients at home. Since there was no buttermilk available in Cold Storage SACC, i opted for milk and lemon.

At 1430 hr today, I started the baking process. Creamed the sugar, butter (Yeah, I used butter to replace the softening), and eggs. The process went on and it was the time to put the colour paste in. And this is what happened ---->

Then, the mixture was beaten with the dry ingredients and the buttermilk (Yeap, my loving neighbour, Mrs Khatijah, bought me a carton of buttermilk yesterday itself from Cold Storage Subang Parade. Many thanks to her!). And it turned out to be like this ---->

It was pretty devilish, bloody red in colour. So I hoped for the best, that they wont turn out bad in the end. Continued my work by putting the batter in the muffin/cupcake paper. And they turned out like this ----->

Then came the baking time!!!~

And the moment of truth........................

This was fresh from the oven. They were so vibrant red in colour!!!!

After a few minutes of waiting for them to cool down, my bro and I started to race for the cupcakes!! I took mine; bold red, warm, and tempting. It was delicious! Brilliant intense red in the inside, smooth and velvety too! The name definitely suits the cake. RED VELVET.

No wonder it is such an indulgence~

Friday, July 4

MIDE '08

To the readers out there, MIDE stands for Malaysian International Dive Expo.

What an awesome day today. After being sick for a few days, I challenge myself to head out to PWTC in KL for the MIDE this year. This expo is held annually, and every dive centers in Malaysia particularly, and dive groups world wide generally gather here to talk, advertise, sell, promote etc their merchandise to the public, especially divers in Malaysia. Foreign groups joined were from UK, Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia, New Zealand, States, and many more. So enough of the story telling, lets get straight to the point. Heheheheheh........ ;p

I bought a few essential dive gears and they just made my day. After a grueling 3 round tours of the exhibition hall, I finally found myself with 4 new gears. A brand new rash guard, from AquaLung. Sleek black body, and long, red sleeves. A dry bag, from .... (I can't remember..sorry), 1.2L in capacity, red. A dive torch, solid black with detachable lanyard. That's all for now. I spent nearly all my pocket money (RM250!!!) and I hope I could save more money to get myself a wet suit next year!! WooooooooooooT!

Apart from all the gears, I collected some freebies too! Many dive stickers, magazines, promotion, and other interesting stuffs as well. One booth even gave us free Dive Logs! Huhu.. I'm lucky~ At least I dont have to photocopy my last page of dive log for to key in my future dives.

My university also took part in the expo.They opened a booth, with my advance course instructor, Mr Azman Senu as one of the speaker. So, he took us for lunch during his break time. Thanks! Famous celebrities were there as well. I found Awie, and Fauziah Latiff. I was hoping to meet Hans Isaac, but he was no where to be seen. Ah, no luck there. Never mind. Next time will come.

So, all in all, I had a great day today, despite the blocked ears I had due to the flu... It was wonderful. I took a few pictures too, but let me warn you, THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN WHILE I WAS WALKING, DUE TO THE MOVING CROWD. SO I'M VERY SORRY THAT THE PICTURES ARE VERY BLUR..... So for all the Malaysian divers out there, go out and enjoy yourself at the expo, from today til Sunday!! Go go go!!! Bring the water alive!!!

The exhibition hall in PWTC

A power boat

Two gigantic engines!

Some dive gears from ScubaTech

Other goodies too~

Look! Its our Uni's booth!

WWF gang was there too!

Mr Lab Guy, Mr Azman, Adam and Kong

Adam, Mrs Fauziah Latiff, Ej and Me

~Again, sorry for d blurry pictures~

Thursday, July 3

Saturday, June 21

MTV Movie Awards 2008

I just watched Johnny Depp won the best villain for his role in Sweeney Todd, and he took the stage in full awe!!! Trust me, he was obviously good looking! Owh, he tore me into pieces, that Depp...ouch!

Besides that, nothing much to say. Have a great weekend, my peers~

Thursday, June 19

Poem to a horse

Galloping wildly in the summer sun,
Under silver clouds of heavenly merry,
Joy pumping vigorously in your veins,
Tousled mane shines, devouring envy.

There you stand, the great beast,
Making sound of pride and glory,
Such graceful, fine line stallion,
You bring out the heart in me.

As I stroke the soft, dark bristles,
You race me to the land of fantasy,
Warm and mellow, undying avarice,
Hearten away my melancholy.

Shouldn't I betray my dark blood,
To graze such pleasant serenity,
For a fine, beautiful horsewoman,
Is yours for the belonging.

Hindrance is what I shall pay,
For a commoner, I will stay.

Thursday, June 12

Fuel hike up

Malaysia: RM 2.70 per liter

Thailand: RM 4.00 per liter

India: RM 5.00 per liter (after conversion to RM)

So why are Malaysians still struggling in the hot wok?

Yes, I admit that fuel prices have increased, and other living necessities have become expensive nowadays too, but there are good solid reasons that rely underneath it all.


The increasing population of people and industrialization in the urban areas have caused severe demand of fuel, which lead to rapid fossil fuel loss. Many industries use petrol as their raw material for power supply. Transportation, electric generator, food industries, etc. Simple fact; increase in population will increase the fuel usage.

As the fossil fuel resources decrease, the demand of it becomes stronger, and involves political issues too (in which I personally DO NOT want to comment). This leads to different prices of petrol worldwide.

Fossil fuel derives from degraded-chemically changed-fossils which is found miles deep under the seabed or earth. It falls under the NON-RENEWABLE resource, which means the resource may not be renewed within a short period (like water or air for example). Fossil fuel needs thousands (or millions) of years to be renewed, thus we wont be breathing air again when that time arrives, ha ha.

To compensate with the issues now, we should opt for a greener lifestyle. Some few things that we could do are:

1) Use public transportation.
2) Buy hybrid cars (try looking out for Toyota Prius or Smart cars).
3) Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Start now, even by shutting off unnecessary light in your house.
4) Plant more trees, or a vege garden in the backyard (really helps a lot!)
5) Save electricity and water. They use petrol to generate and treat in that industry.

There will be no more fuel in future. Opt for bio-fuel, or electricity generated cars. There are many hybrid cars now, and trust me, not all of them have that weird, futuristic look (only for those who finds space age cars uninteresting...huhu..)

Let us be a better person. Let us treat the Mother Earth as she deserved long time ago. Let us find and opt better solutions to fight this crisis. It is totally in our hands. We mold it, we shape it, we cause it. Start now.

Tuesday, June 10

Its A Come Back!

Its been a long bloody 2 months since I've been writing crap on my blog... That's a long while, dont ya think?

(hold on, lemme get some yogurt...............................ah.... ok. lets cont..)

Anyway, to make things short, I have completed several things within this past 2 months, and they were some really exciting things!!!

Firstly, I am now a certified Advance Diver from NAUI!!! woooottttttttt!!!!~
Only few of us did the Advance course on the 11th to 13th of May. However, my license is still with Adam coz he took it from our instructor, Mr Azman Senin.

Secondly, I have received my hardbound thesis back!! I'm so glad to see it in my hands, with gold letters embossed on the beach-blue-leather-like bound... My own thesis.... It's all worth it. All the sleepless night, starvation, fatigue, etc... And boy, I did get awesome grade with it too!! Thank goodness! ;)

Next was my bestfriends wedding!!!!! Yeap, my bestbud, Fairus Ahamed, tied the knot to his girlfriend of 2 years, Siti Zulaikhah, in a private Akad Nikah ceremony in her house in Shah Alam. He wanted me to come along to be by his side, but I couldn't make it.

The reception was held in the Grand Blue Wave Hotel, Shah Alam, on the 24th May. It was a splendid night, as both newly weds were merry and happy.

To both Mr and Mrs Fairus Ahamed, I wish you best of married life and make sure you guys make lotsa babies for me to kidnap later... hik hik hik! I promise I'll be a good Godmother. hee~ ;p

Then, it was Akak's wedding~ (I can still hear some wedding bells too!) She, my coursemate, married the love of her life, on the 24th May. The reception was held in her house on the 25th of May. Among my fellow coursemates that went to the ceremony were Ena, Shima, Lea, Anis, Farah and sis, Baz and her sis, Natra, Mica n fam, Mahazan, Am, Ro, & Fizam. The wedding was humble and wet...yes, I meant it! It was raining from midday til evening! Poor akak... there were some mishaps too, but I guess I better leave it like that. To Akak and Abg Syaiful (a.k.a Beastmaster), may both of you be blessed by Him til death do you apart. Amin... (the piccies are still in my cam.. lazy wanna upload~)

So here I am, waiting for more opportunities to further my studies. I'm hoping to further abroad..... Haihh... Pray for me ya?

That's all. Chow~

Tuesday, April 29


Wow... Its been a while since I've been here. Why? Coz this whole week had been a mental (and physical too) torture!!!!!!!!! This week was the chaos, havoc, and anything you could imagine of. Why?? Final papers, thesis refinement and the most important of all..... THE THESIS SEMINAR!!!!! Life was quite challenging, with nervousness of the presentation hangs on each of our heads.

Yesterday was the ULTIMATE day for me, as I was the second person to present for the day. Arrived at the Seminar Hall (KK1) as early as 7.30 am, and all of the early presenters hurried to upload their presentation slides on the PC.

Whatever it was, I guess it went quite well.. Kikiki... Ah! Its over!!! I dont give a bloody care anymore! At least now, we have to focus on the thesis refining before May 4th, 2008. Then..... ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! Haahahahahah!!! Im done with my degree!! Weee~

No mood to elaborate. Need to cont to my thesis. Chow.

Tuesday, April 22

Believe it..

Make a wish... and place it in your heart,

Anything you want,

everything you want.

Do you have it?


Now believe it can come true.

You'll never know whens' the next miracles' gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish to come true...

But if you believe its right around the corner,

and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,

to the certainty of it,

you just might get the thing you're wishing for.

The world is full of magic.

You just have to believe in it.

So make your wish.

Do you have it?


Now believe in it...

with all your heart.

(One Tree Hill: Season 5, Episode 13)

Monday, April 21

Earth Day!!

Its Earth Day today, April 22nd 2008. This event is celebrated world wide. On this day, many bodies have agreed to opt, deliver and expand their knowledge globally in aid to save mother nature. As we all know, global warming is a serious threat and it is crucial for mankind to live greener, healthier lifestyle.

If you are at home, I would like you to sit down and turn on the Discovery Channel, as the whole day today, this channel will be showing the impacts of man made development and the future outcome of our own ignorances. After viewing the sneak peek, I think it is wise for all of us to sit down with our family and really digest the real truth of what our only Earth is going on. Thats all from me today.

Lets make our world a better place, shall we?

Go Green!

Tuesday, April 15

Space to breathe!

Hey you guys,
me taking a break for a while.
Me going home, for the gap between papers.
Will be back in Tganu in 21st April.
C yaa!

Friday, April 11

Dear friends,

This is a tribute to my dearest friends, and to all of you who are facing difficulties and is now at your lowest mode ever. Read this, and remember that life is a journey of ups and downs. Be strong and The Lord will help you. Be blessed~

I know life can be so tough,
and you feel like giving up
But you must be strong,
Baby just hold on.
You'll never find the answers,
if you throw your life away.
I used to feel the way you do,
still I have to keep on going.
Never knowing if I could take it,
if I would make it through the night.
I held on to my faith,
I struggled and I prayed,
and now I've finally found my way.

If you believe in yourself enough,
and know what you want,
you're gonna make it happen.
Make it happen.
And if you get down on your
knees at night,
and pray to The Lord,
He's gonna make it happen.
Make it happen.

I once was lost,
but now I'm found.
I got my feet on solid ground,
thank you Lord.
If you believe within your soul,
just hold on tight,
and don't let go.
You can make it.
Make it happen.

(Mariah Carey: Make It Happen. 1991)

Wednesday, April 9

Saviour of the day.

Last Monday, as I was concentrating on finishing my never-ending assignments, then suddenly, this feeling of despair came out of nowhere. This sudden rush of thick desperation, came uninvited and caused a riot in my head. It was the feeling of loneliness, and above all, desperation for a deep rest.

Then I saw one of my besties online......Dayah.. She wanted to ask me about some misunderstandings in her excel calculations. So I helped her.

Then, as if she could read my heavily polluted mind, she asked, "Na, how r u? Na ok?"

Within that instant flash of words, I broke down. Its like being in a heavy rain after a long, great drought. She knew she had touched the trigger.

Then, both of us chatted for a while, giving support for each other and with a heavy heart, she had to leave the YM. Before she left, she told me one thing that I know I will always remember for as long as I live in this devilish world.

"If Allah decides to give you more difficulties in life, meaning He loves you more and you should too. "

As she walk back to her hostel, I took the opportunity to pray to Him and recited a few chapters of the Holy Quran. Felt a little bit better, I heard my phone buzzed on the drawer. I opened the sms, and I knew, that eventhough Dayah is far away from me, she knew that I still need more support than I used to several years ago. And she sent me a message that reads:

"If Allah loves somebody, He'll send His Iman;
If Allah loves him more, He'll give him strength to serve good deeds;
And if Allah loves him more than that, He will make his life difficult, especially to withhold and fight for his religion, and that's is the proof of Allah's love.
Fight and never give up, and Allah's love is a promise."

As I was on the verge of giving up, Dayah came around....and supported me. From then, I knew I owe her. BIG TIME.

Thanks dearie....

Monday, April 7

Some random words. *Sigh*

I practically dont have any muse for this post, so this is what I could strut out of my jammed head..

Forever love what thy have spoken,
As she lightened our world,
Passionately thy embrace thee's warmth,
And the lover's wrath protects from demonic evil.

I'm drained. The final year and thesis virus is definitely not over yet. (The symptoms: Insomnia, Anger, Hyperexhaustion, Hunger and Thirst, Anxiety & Distress). My mind is clogged with unwanted policy particles, and any annoyance would provoke my anger. I wanna go home!!!!!! I think I might book a flight on the 15th, cause the gap between Spanish and EIA papers are about 10 days. At least I could send some stuff back home. Hurmm... Maybe I should..

God, send one of Your Angels to guide me through.

Somebody please save me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 6

Just a stop by..

There's something I would like to share to the public. Its verse of a lyric from Goo Goo Dolls, Iris.
Have a look...

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Go figure~

Saturday, April 5

My life is insane. Full stop.

April 5th, 2008; 0300 hr

I was refining our groups' presentation for Policy and suddenly everything seemed so blur. I combed everything through, and realized that we'll be presenting the ppt on Sunday, Policy's second test is on Monday, my Spanish listening test and EIA presentation will both be on Tuesday, and Spanish oral (killer) test will be on Wednesday. And I have to submit all the assignments by this week. Dios m√≠o... ¡Voy a morir! (My God...I'm gonna die!)

April 5th, 2008; 0600 hr

Trying to open my eyes while searching for endless info about overexploitation, my brain mass was knocked out and I know its time for me to crash. Went into my room and prayed for His mercy to give me some strength, and I fell asleep.
And I dreamt.

I was giving a lecture/teaching my fellow juniors. Subject: Biology of Marine Mammals (dolphins, orcas, whales, polar bears, etc) and Elasmobranch (Sharks, skates & rays). Its a brand new subject, as we didnt have this before. Its quite cool, as this is the field that I'm keen in. Hahaha! Funny abes! But that was it.

April 5th, 2008; 1230hr

I woke up, heavy headed and still feeling tired. Turned on my loyal lappie (eventhough its an old model, but its very reliable, thank God!), and decided to open the main water tap. As I was unlocking the back door, I realized that I have stepped onto a rubbery 'thing' and as I looked down, it (that thing was long and small..?..) was moving frantically around the floor!!! With sudden response, my heart leaped and I straightaway run to my room for my glasses. As I was running for my glasses, hundred images stampeded on my mind. Baby snakes, caterpillar, earthworm, centipede, millipede, etc.. And as I rushed back to the door, my face flushed...

It was a common house lizard. Well, what was left of it actually... the wriggling 'thing' was the long tail. The body was no where to be seen. It ran away. LOL! Its just a lizard, phew! And I really thought it was a baby venomous snake. Cheh!

What an event to start a day. Ah crap. Whatever it is, I'm pretty drained out of boost to face all this right now.


Friday, April 4

A nite in Vienna

Enchantment dwells in my passionate heart,
As for those sacred words rhymed by thee,
For soft wind will never break apart,
And so does the great seven seas.

As the rhythm and melody dances together,
As thee rose and gently held my hand,
And we promise to waltz forever,
No matter how far the motherland.

As the moon smiles upon us,
And so does the thousand stars,
Our feet will never tire us,
As we paced slowly on the cobbled stones.

As we end with a long passionate kiss,
I drew apart and my heart beat skipped,
As it made my ears started to hiss,
He knelt down, and I wonderfully stared.

I felt loved, I want to beloved,
As much as he wanted me to be his bride,
And he rose, eternity beloved, he vowed,
Our fingers entwined, we became one.

Wednesday, April 2

Me: Tagged.

I've been tagged. By both Al and Dila. Okie dokie then. Here you are;

The rules:-
Link to your tagger and post these rules. List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people.

#1: I almost died in my mom's womb due to miscalculation of pregnancy period.

#2: I didn't get my BCG jab, and I'm not planning to get one. Lazy.

#3: I love making chocolate cakes, but I hate chocolates.

#4: I'm allergic to smokes and durian. (Can you believe that????? Serious doh!)

#5: I love to see women and men in BLACK. They look more handsome and sophisticated.

#6: I've never been in a real relationship. (Honestly, I dont really know why.)

#7: I have a stepmom that I will hate til I die. (Never 'talk' to her since Papa died)

#8: I dont know the function of this tag thingie.

8 people that I wanna tag:

::1:: Ed, coz he's living in his own realm now.

::2:: Teng, coz she's a hottie in a nerd costume.

::3:: Naza, coz he's DON ESTEBAN! Lol!

::4:: Chakra, coz he's so blur with his education right now.

::5:: Azri, coz he loves to do that monkey face & fool people.

::6:: Irdzra, coz she's the goth queen of my life!

::7:: Kama, coz I think she needs to loosen up.

::8:: She, coz she's cute like Thumbelina. Hahahaha!

Haaaa... buat! Jgn tak buat!

Monday, March 31


April 1st, 2008; 1200 hr.

He sent me 'happiness',
But I wasn't gonna fall for it,
Coz I know he was fooling around,
On this 'so-called-delightful' day.

I knew it was joke,
And I went with the flow,
But I knew I couldn't fool myself,
For such words he threw.

He knew that I've known,
For the words that I splurged,
However straight life may seem,
Bended ribbons it is now turning to be.

April 1st, 2008; 1429hr.

Life is fine and gracious,
Yet sometimes it can be horror,
Though it isn't always a torture,
But it always leave me hollow.

Go heart go,
Fly away to kingdoms afar,
Leave me with only a mind to bare,
So you'll ever again be in agony.

Go heart go,
Soar to a place you desire,
I'll find you when I need you,
When life is kinder and warmer.

Go heart go,
Spread your wings and roam in the zephyr,
Leave me to face this immolation,
For only Him could return you back to me.

I'm a fool.

Good bye.

Sunday, March 30

Him ^Part 3^

His smile makes me wonder,
Is there anything better,
Than this serenity that ponder,
Which my heart is after?

Smile for me.

Saturday, March 22

My Goals~

I feel like writing about my own personal self this time. Very personal. Huuuu...
Well, I've been thinking about my wishlist/goals that I would love to achieve it some day. InsyaAllah.. So here are some of the aims that I have thought of: ----->

#1: To finish my degree with at least 3.5 CGPA or better.

#2: To try for Masters abroad.

#3: To find a decent green job, and be a workaholic.

#4: To save lotsa cash to buy a small apartment, a small green-rated car and a new laptop.

#5: Support my brother with his studies.

#6: Undergo a Lasik surgery.

#7: To perform Haj with my family.

#8: To get married by 28.

#9: If I dont get married by 30, I'll be a spinster for life and will adopt an orphan.

#10: Backpack around the world with my adopted daughter, and have a blast!

These are some of the short term and long term goals. But we can only plan, and God to decide.


Heeeee... peace!

Thursday, March 20


Last night, me and a good friend of mine talked about my dad. Basically, this topic came up out of no where, and both of us were out of words at the and of it. Then I went to bed, only knowing that I couldn't fall asleep until it was around 0400 hr. And I dreamt. Of him.

I was driving a car, in a heavy road, heading to a place. Driving steadily, my dad was beside me, smiling. Outside, there was this political riot going on, with people fighting and the police trying their major best to comb things out. However, inside the car, there was like some kind of protective layer surrounding both of us, which left me out of any single worries of the rave outside. We turned into a silent road, to a place I think was home.

I made a quick lunch for both of us, and served at the dinner table. As we sat down facing the window, I saw him looking at me, without even touching his food. But his gaze was so soft, fuzzy and warm, as if to say that he loves me unconditionally, and is very proud to have a girl so brave. As if I knew what he was saying, I abruptly went to his seat and hugged him from behind. I couldn't touch him, but there was this scent, that was soooooooo heavenly, that it didn't matter if I wake up from this dream or not. It just didn't matter. I was home.

Then there was this valley, both of us were walking silently, with warm, loving thoughts crosses our minds, as he lead me to this ray of light. He was leaving me.. His face was full of light, and a sweet smile, as if to tell me its time for him to go. I was crying, half expected him to bring me along, and the other half to just let him go. As I wept silently, he walked into this light.... and I woke up.

I woke up to find that my pillow was drenched with tears and I was still crying. A peek at the time telling me that it was 0930 hr. So, many tears still falling from my eyes, and with a handful of hopes and prayers, I said to God to let me see him again. And I fell asleep.

I could see him from far, that he was standing there, waiting for me to walk to him. As I was walking, I could no longer feel the earth under my was as if I was floating. Suddenly, there was this voice screamed at my ear, saying "Muna, bangun la!". And the next thing I knew, I was cursing her under my breath.

I hate it. Saya tidak suka bangun secara terkejut. And I mean shock/abrupt/sudden/surprised. Not bangunkan. They are two different things. I hate it. I will never mind people waking me up slowly. I thank them for that. But not by screaming at my ears, or by shouting at my name, or suddenly slammed something. They shock me. (Faham x?)

I'm so gonna kick her arse.

Saturday, March 15

Him ^Part 2^

Hindrance is such agony,
Where ignorance aint that easy,
Betrayal is beyond sanity,
Loosing it, is out of the question, completely.

Help me.

Friday, March 14

Annual Dinner ::Finale::

Yesterday was the big event. The food were nice and generous, and it was Dr Juan's birthday too.

All the seniors had fun (as i saw them mingle around taking gazillion pictures), eventhough d room was quite dim, the laughter and cheers were definitely in the air. Everybody was everywhere! Photo maniacs!

But there were a few flaws that I would like to comment though. They shouldn't have done the senior's award to be repeated. I mean if a person was awarded with a title, then allow another for other awards. Yesterday Jimmy received 3 awards, and Ise got 2. Its just unfair to others who was also nominated. Be fair guys!

The king of the night went to a 2nd year junior (which i forgot his name), and the queen of the night went to Anis!! OMG!!!! Anis was so feminine last night, you just couldn't believe it was her! All this while she had this attitude and fierceness of a tomboy girl, but yesterday, she was absolutely turned over. Bravo kid, bravo!

But all in all, it was a great event. We enjoyed it. Many thanks especially to my 2nd year juniors and not to forget our 1st years too. Thanks guys.

To my peers, I hope u enjoyed taking lots of piccies yesterday and hold that in your memories as our path will be separated within the next 2 months. Though we will meet again by July for convocation, but there is a larger picture of future afterwards. With that, I wish Good Luck to each of you...

Visit my friendster for the photos

Thursday, March 13

Annual Dinner ::Part 2::

Decisions made.

I'm going to the event.

But I'm going alone.


Always dreamed of bringing an usher to my last dinner (during school times...).

But no opportunity this time, so deal with it la.

Maybe for Master's dinner kot.....

Hehe.. See lah if got rezeki. (Perasan~)


Wednesday, March 12

Him ^Part 1^

The thought of him makes me happy,
To say his name makes me flutter,
Each word rhymes like a melody,
Where Spring is for ever.

Hear me...

Saturday, March 8

Annual Dinner ::Part 1::


Course Night 2008.

The annual dinner will be held at Primula Hotel, March 14th, 2008. The theme will be Ocean Symphony.


RM 40 per head.

Should I go?

Shouldn't I go?

Heard that Adam told Ajwee there will be no entertainment whatsoever.


It'll be pure dinner function. With no music.


If I'm going, I'm gonna wear jeans.

Thursday, March 6


Everyday, you and me together,
Swore to love for ever,
Has always been a fighter,
Hearts and passion we master,
But eternal ain't what you're after.


I've given my words with clearance,
But you never listen to each sentence,
Nor you ever let me into the silence,
Idyllic to you, festive in innocence,
you left me only with the heartburns,
I'm a fool.

Far destiny is such denial,
For what you did is such betrayal,
I'm buried down in the abyssal,
Could I get you back as my final?
After you've run a thousand mile.

Repeat chorus

Run away, it's useless now,
Hundreds of letters I vow,
Your dreams were foul,
I am dead and still,
I am a fool.

I wrote this during the last EIA class. Was bored, n my friend asked for another lyric. So I did it. hurmmm..... I dont know. U rate it.

Sunday, March 2

Election's campaigns in T'ganu

Living in Tganu has brought many changes in my life. Before, I have discovered Penang as my dear hometown, moved to KL for a while, and now we have settled down in Shah Alam. Studying in Tganu was out of my options in life, but since the only places that offer a degree in Marine Biology is both in Sabah and Tganu, i took UMT as my prior choice; due to the fact that this secluded place was established far longer than UMS. So, the marine studies should be better than the one in Sabah. But that was just an opinion.

Let's go back to where I'm supposed to start. Elections=Campaigns. As far as I'm concern, all the places that I've stayed, all ruled by the government. So, it was and still is quite unfamiliar to be under a state influenced by the opposition party. To say, this state still under the gov, but the aura of an opposition party is quite strong here. And that's just the beginning, literally..

I am a Muslim, and I love my religion and country. I have faith in God and in peace. But then again, living here in KT has really challenged my mindset towards their offensive mentality. Why? Let me summarize some things that will make you wonder~

A few years back, the gov ruled this small state and willingly donated RM200 to each locals which was studying in the IPTA, but when the opposition won the following election, they asked each student to return each sen back. Why? I have no idea. Maybe bcoz they dont want their youngsters to be bribed to further their studies.... then look back to all the mat and minah rempit doing their stuffs each night, without consideration of others.

Before the gov won the election again 4 years ago, the city looked very much the same as any undeveloped suburban places. Since they won, the gov has spent a lot of money on raising the state to be a developed state, both economically, and spiritually. A lot has been done to civilize and educate this state to a better future. Including the on-going project of replicas of world's well-known mosques. I'm very thrilled with this idea, due to the fact that we could actually see the wonders of these mosques, eventhough they are just replicas. I'm not financially wealthy, so replicas will do. Hehe.. But the opposition party is so raved about this project, that they are stating this idea was really a slack. (I'm not gonna write down what they say, bcoz it might be offensive to some people). They placed this big billboard at a junction a few months b4 the campaign, but now the pictures have been torn and there were harsh words written on it. How can they, the same people who vows to the crowd about religion, can actually do this?? Think about it.

On roadsides, they placed a lot of banners to criticize each other. Mockery, hatred, revenge, verbal molestation are all over the place! They are doing this without any kind of respect towards each other. If you are educated enough to be able to rule a certain space, and are well raised in the modesty of Islam, how can this manner be such pleasure to you?? Going back to the basics of election, we as the public are supposed to vote for a person in a party which has the credibility, passion, sense, strategy, and a people's heart to organize a certain area. But with such actions, are we now supposed to choose between the one who produce the best mockery, best bitchy words, best sense of hatred to rule?? Are we?? Campaigns are fine, but make it safe and respectful towards each party lah, the one which have the best strategy will win. Not the best verbal violation. We have no right to condemn any other person, let alone within our same religion. Haven't you understand what Islam is trying to tell you? I find it hard to even open my eyes to such people who would jeopardize their believes in the campaigns. It is as if they make Islam as a stone, and who throws the stone the furthest, deserves the publics votes (Please do not argue with me on this, as it is just as how I portray what is currently happening here in front of my eyes). Ya Allah.... What is Islam to you, may I wonder? Modesty, serenity, peace, loving, passion, respect? Or hatred, condemnation, lies, betrayal, confusion? Think.

Owh yeah, not to forget, you know, during campaigns, banners, flags etc are everywhere... Its fine, really, until they have the potential to harm you, then they are not OK OK anymore. Really. These parties are so engrossed in making a statement of "Hey, I actually have money to make lots of banners, so vote for me!" or "This is our territory. Get off!!". Hey, come on laa.. You may place your banners or flags where ever you want, but sometimes think of other's safety, please. Wanna know why?? Hurm...

I almost had a few accidents due to those super big banners. This is the real truth. After counting, 4 times near-accidents have happened. Aiyooo!!! Tie those flags properly laa!! I dont wanna list down how, but really. Think. There was this incident where the police had to bring down some of the small banners due to the maybe-banner-malfunction that could harm the road users, but some of the emo-driven party followers ignited a chaos/riot at that moment. How shallow they are... Think. What would you say if you are the one "yang terkena" with these malfunction flags? If it brings danger to others, why not place it some other else? Come on laa...

I know I have never voted before. Eventhough I am legally able to vote this season, but I cant do so, with lots of pressure of assignments, tests, thesis writing and financial roaming on. I just cant find the time to travel to my hometown and vote. I hope I could next season.

So people, think of the one that you know who can rule the nation with dignity, provides harmony among each citizens, and with peaceful mind within each age. Remember, we are a multi-racial country, so our job is to protect our nation from internal riot between races. Remember, Malaysia is full of culture, thus respect each race and religion with grace.

This post is just an opinion to those out there. None were meant to hurt any party in any possible way. But one thing to share is, to think out of the box.

Friday, February 22

Tribute to Love

As a human being, life is sometimes cruel to you. As you walk further and face more obstacles, you become more mature, no matter how small the difference is. Some people have parents to refer to, some lean on their best mates for strength, while others may only depend on their believes for faith. As for me, I have my own team of hearts to where i can fall on. And today, I'm taking this advantage of telling them how much they mean to me, no matter how far or close, no matter how feminine or macho, no matter how much attention or ignorant you are towards me. You guys are the best that I will never ever let go til He separate me from earth. So, this is for you, my loves...

Infinitive gratitude to Allah s.w.t,
For He has created a humble servant, surrounded with love and tranquility.
He is my soul, without it, I'm dead.

Beloved Papa,
For he was and still is my backbone, where the strength lies deep.
Without him, I would be limp for life.

A comfort of a family,
Where I can remain solitude in peace, protected from harm of the outside world.
Without them, I'm alone in the war field.

To my lovely sister, Jee,
She is the brain of mine, each thought is so thoughtful.
Without her, I'm a mental.

To my four beautiful angels, Lilo, Dayah, Nabie, and Al,
You are the running blood in my veins, serene warmth with each flow.
Without you, I'm a walking zombie.

To my three loyal soldiers, Fairus, Nerd and Nazrin,
You are the wrath that wraps around me, being immune to all hazards and blunders.
Without you, I'm prone to weakness and destruction.

To my little babies, Chi Chi and Heho,
You are the joy in life, the best medicines of somber.
Without you, I'm crack.

These are the ones that I love. These are the ones that I respect. These are the ones that I pray for. For they always have faith in me.


And I have faith in them.

Thursday, February 14

Valentine's Day

Here, sitting in d silence,
With echoes of sappy songs humming,
And scratching the heartstrings,

But those w
ords are true friends of mine.

A mind off in a kingdom afar,
Only true voices may find its shadow,
Heavy and empty, it flew,
To the end of the world.

Dewdrops fall on the harsh earth,

Angels had flown to eternity,
Cruel wind burns the scars,
As thunderstorms approaching nearby.

Flower buds had decayed,
The sun ruptures each breath,

None to hold and comfort,
Common emptiness blossoms.

Craving a space for warmth,
With idyllic serenity to grasp,

Reality turning as gravity,

For a world filled with love.

Meet me,
Meet me at the end of the world,

And save me.

Save me