Thursday, March 20


Last night, me and a good friend of mine talked about my dad. Basically, this topic came up out of no where, and both of us were out of words at the and of it. Then I went to bed, only knowing that I couldn't fall asleep until it was around 0400 hr. And I dreamt. Of him.

I was driving a car, in a heavy road, heading to a place. Driving steadily, my dad was beside me, smiling. Outside, there was this political riot going on, with people fighting and the police trying their major best to comb things out. However, inside the car, there was like some kind of protective layer surrounding both of us, which left me out of any single worries of the rave outside. We turned into a silent road, to a place I think was home.

I made a quick lunch for both of us, and served at the dinner table. As we sat down facing the window, I saw him looking at me, without even touching his food. But his gaze was so soft, fuzzy and warm, as if to say that he loves me unconditionally, and is very proud to have a girl so brave. As if I knew what he was saying, I abruptly went to his seat and hugged him from behind. I couldn't touch him, but there was this scent, that was soooooooo heavenly, that it didn't matter if I wake up from this dream or not. It just didn't matter. I was home.

Then there was this valley, both of us were walking silently, with warm, loving thoughts crosses our minds, as he lead me to this ray of light. He was leaving me.. His face was full of light, and a sweet smile, as if to tell me its time for him to go. I was crying, half expected him to bring me along, and the other half to just let him go. As I wept silently, he walked into this light.... and I woke up.

I woke up to find that my pillow was drenched with tears and I was still crying. A peek at the time telling me that it was 0930 hr. So, many tears still falling from my eyes, and with a handful of hopes and prayers, I said to God to let me see him again. And I fell asleep.

I could see him from far, that he was standing there, waiting for me to walk to him. As I was walking, I could no longer feel the earth under my was as if I was floating. Suddenly, there was this voice screamed at my ear, saying "Muna, bangun la!". And the next thing I knew, I was cursing her under my breath.

I hate it. Saya tidak suka bangun secara terkejut. And I mean shock/abrupt/sudden/surprised. Not bangunkan. They are two different things. I hate it. I will never mind people waking me up slowly. I thank them for that. But not by screaming at my ears, or by shouting at my name, or suddenly slammed something. They shock me. (Faham x?)

I'm so gonna kick her arse.


AL said...

aww.. knew u were crying. but xnk kaco. wat a dream huh.. guess u miss em so much that he came to u in another medium to make u feel safe.

p/s: sy tidak kejutkn kamu. huhu......

xinsiera said...

yeah... i think so..
huhu... it wasn't u.

teng said...

0oOoo... bad sleep but good dream.

xinsiera said...

thanx teng..