It's worthless

I couldn't believe myself,
When the heart told me,
That she had sparkles bloom,
Just when he was close to me.

I ached for an answer,
Honest, deep and bold,
I have waited for years,
Yet I never told a soul.

He tingled my skin,
Flushed my cheeks,
Warmed my blues,
And aptly cooled my wrath.

I let the boat sailed,
Far across the ocean,
For the horizon is eternity,
And I fleet in compassion.

But he came with indignation,
Even though those words I've blurred,
He treasures me with pride and glory,
Yet would never make me Queen.

I lust for his shadows,
I devoured his entity,
I chased his soles,
And it was pain and vain.

I could not understand his mind,
Neither his heart aloft,
Though I've searched and searched,
None came back to unwind.

She came in an instant,
Though he promised it's irrational,
Yet now it is different,
For she is the Queen.

I had clarified my mind,
I had cleared my bones,
I had washed my bloods,
But couldn't salvage my soul.

He wins in the end,
And I vanished in air,
What could more be told,
For I'm just an ordinary mold.

It's worthless.

**This so-called-poem is far more spontaneous than those I've written before. Bear with me okie?? Stay tuned!